jewels

i was enlightened today by a very dear friend. she told me that i am a person for whom memories, a history, are extremely important. she likened them each to precious gems that i hold tight to my heart and take out to polish and admire, to remember when things are tough. she talked about how i keep them close and safe, hold them dear, and how i need and am almost enraptured by them. that each one is very precious to me in it's own important way. i didn't realize this, but she's right. and while i love to do this, while each memory does indeed comfort me more than i can express and has sustained me through some difficult periods, i realize now that holding them so tightly can also be a hindrance. memories are not life. memories are not the present. no matter how much i may want them to be, they are in fact, just memories. they can be dangerous, convincing me to tread water, my head just above the surface, or just under maybe, when i should just be kicking my feet and swimming for shore.